Who's there?! (Part 2)

Just incase I haven't made you paranoid enough, here are a few more things that horror films could ruin for you.

11. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Texas, Chainsaws, and Massacres. Although the river walk in San Antonio is just lovely.

12. The Silence of the Lambs: Men who drink Chianti.

13. Invasion of the body snatchers (1956): Nobody believing you. And, you know, having your body snatched…by invaders…

14. Jurassic Park (purely for the kitchen scene): Those damn door-opening Veloceraptors. They may seem cute but be on your guard, they’re clever girls.

15. Deliverance: You’ll never be able to enjoy banjo music again.  

16. Wolf Creek: Those man-sized spiders aren’t the most dangerous thing in Australia.

17. The Wicker Man (personally the scariest film ever): Even before Trainspotting, this was the final nail in Scotland’s tourism industry.

18. Saw: Guys who give themselves names like ‘Jigsaw’.

19. The Orphanage: Seriously Spain, stop it!

20. The Shining: Jack Nicholson, barmen, twins, naked women, mazes, hotel rooms, and I can no longer enjoy a nice blood-filled lift. Darn.  

To be continued...

If I were working for the Texas Tourism Board, I would insist that they subliminally slip this inbetween a couple of the frames. Maybe the most chainsaw-y ones.
(San Antonio, TX. 2010)

Who's there?! (Part 1)

I love horror films. However, there is no denying that they have spoiled some things for me. I am now always apprehensive about looking in mirrors, and looking out of windows at night makes me a little cautious too. I can no longer go in cornfields, and quite frankly they have ruined Voodoo for me. Shucks.

So, if you want to be able to continue tucking in your masked demon offspring every night, then pay close attention. Here are the films that may put you off that trip to the Bermuda Triangle and make you paranoid about almost everything else.

1. Psycho: Let's start with the obvious. If you don't have access to a tub then I recommend you stear clear of this classic of the horror genre. Actress Janet Leigh herself reportedly never showered again after filming the famous bathroom sequence.

2. Snakes on a Plane: Not a horror film, but the title doesn't include 2 of the top 10 most common phobias for nothing. You'll definitely never use an aeroplane toilet after watching this.

3. The Birds: Again, the clue is in the title.

4. Halloween: Never offer to babysit.

5. Scream: Why caller ID was invented.

6. Marathon Man: Also not a horror film, but you'll never sit in another dentist's chair.

7. Battle Royale: You'll probably reassess a few of your friendships after this one.

8. The Ring: Beware the unmarked VHS. And if you ever get TV static, run.

9. [REC]: Stay out of the attic, stay out of Spain. 

10. Jaws: the Ocean, the sea, your garden pond, all ruined.

To be continued...