Despite being 20 years old, having the house to myself for the weekend is no less exciting than it was when I was 15. And despite the fact that I am too lazy to actually call my friends and get them round, having the house to myself is still a face-slapping, bed-jumping, stair-sledging good time.
I of course do all the ironing that my mother left me, but once those crazy antics are out of the way, then the real fun can begin. So here's a check list (nothing says fun like a check list) of the vital components for a weekend free of parental supervision, and friends, and a life.
1. Take away menus. Be it pizza, chinese, indian or a combination of the above, no weekend to yourself is complete without food that comes served in cardboard. The pizza boxes on Monday morning will also let the bin men know that this resident had a real crazy weekend. So that's your reputation on the line there too.
2. TV. With great take away comes great entertainment. Why eat by yourself when your friends from the lands of the small screen and the big screen can keep you company? Without chilli fried beef and Bruce Willis it's just not a Saturday night. Welcome to the party pal.
3. Revelling in the fact that now I'm 20 that constant feeling that I should probably start my homework before Monday, is nothing but a long distant memory.
4. Number 3 of course leaves plenty of time for YouTube.
5. YouTube tends to lead to the losing of all sense of time. Which leads to not realising that it's actually 3am. This of course would have been the whole point of a parent-free weekend when I was 15, but after one too many years of knocking back caffeine for too many days straight just to reach essay deadlines, I need my sleep. So this one is really a personal judgment call on sleep deprivation Vs number of brain cells left.
6. Doing things you can't do when your parents are at home. I may be 20, but my mum will still shout at me for jumping on the furniture. So cue sofa gymnastics and science experiments (mostly just setting fire to stuff if I'm honest).
7. Dancing round the house. Okay, I do this even when the house is full, but for some reason it's just more fun when you have an empty house as your stage. And as that audience in the mirror isn't going to mock you, you can also practise oscar speeches, etc.
8. You can also play single player games you probably haven't had the time for, what with all that ironing, such as Hot Lava, re-enacting your favourite movie scenes, and which is the highest step you can jump from.
9. Another game in which I regularly partake when home alone, is called 'scaring the bejesus out of myself'. That highly over active imagination from my childhood has certainly not been damaged by all those caffeine-fuelled sleepless nights, to the point where I did see a face at the window. I swear.
10. Of course if you are Macauley Culkin a visit from Joe Pesci is actually not paranoia. Which does however just lead to even more joyful shenanigans, and a nice taking at the box office. So there's a weekend well spent.
11. And finally, after all this tomfoolery, you get to play that final game of tidying up, getting dressed, and guiding that stray raccoon out of the kitchen before your parents get home.
Who needs to go clubbing on the weekends?
