The week before last, while on a rather tiring journey, I was half dozing (don't worry, I wasn't driving) and half listening to the radio. The mention of a certain Mr Paul Simon caught my attention, and the news that he was turning 70 brought me out of my semi-unconscious state like a particularly brutal shot of espresso. 70! This shouldn't really surprise me; my mother is now two and a bit years off getting Senior discounts, some of my best friends are now living in different time zones, and we are only 4 years away from flying cars according to Dr. Emmett Brown. My generation is suddenly becoming the next generation of 'adults' *gulp*.
But therein lies the problem. It's not sudden. It happens so gradually, so quietly, that you don't even notice it happening. It's only when the radio tells you it's happened that you actually realise it. So to prevent any heart attacks, I suggest you sit down and take a deep breath as I give you a run down of some of the most shocking realisations of the year 2011.
1. Ferris Bueller took the day off a quarter of a century ago.
2. Audrey Hepburn ate her breakfast outside Tiffany's half a century ago.
3. Harry Potter was brought alive on the big screen ten years ago. (He should really have finished school in 2008. Slacker).
4. There are kids starting high school in September who were born after the millennium.
5. The Simpsons have been on TV for 21 years. Bart should be 31...
6. My friend played a recording of the sound that dial-up Internet used to make, to someone a few years younger than him. The response...'what's that weird noise?'
7. The first Toy Story film came out in 1995.
8. Friends finished 7 years ago. (Although you wouldn't know it with 2 re-runs a day).
9. I have X-Men 2 on VHS.
10. Sarah Michelle Gellar was 19 when the first episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was aired. Oh how I miss Sunnydale.
11. I also miss phones that had curly chords.
12. Alfred Hitchcock was born in the 19th Century. He would be 111.
13. Weezer released 'Buddy Holly' 16 years ago. Nirvana and Red Hot Chili Peppers respectively released 'Smells like Teen Spirit' and 'Under the Bridge' 20 years ago.
14. Dirty Harry is 81.
15. I know how to read a map.
16. I remember storing all my friends' phone numbers in my head.
17. I have a PS1.
18. I remember having to announce to the house that I was going on the Internet, and did anyone want to use the phone before then.
19. Turns out mini-discs weren't the next big thing.
20. I haven't used my tape deck in 15 years.
So now that we all feel suitably old, remember...there is no need to be sad. Soon we'll have teleports, holograph phones, and colonies on the moon. And to the people who are sat there thinking, 'big whoop, I saw Star Wars in the cinema, I remember man walking on the moon, yadda, yadda, yadda', that's very nice.
